Today is like no other day I have ever experienced (except for last year) in my entire life. My emotions jump from happy to sad and back to happy constantly. Some people are thinking…what the heck is she talking about? And others, those who know me really well, you know my dilemma. Three years ago on this day I lost the only man I had ever really loved with my whole heart and soul. Our time together was all I had yearned for in this life. In recent years, due to his medical condition, he had become my whole life, and I had become his world. He relied upon me for everything that kept him functioning in every way possible. Despite his condition and because of it, he was my hero, my security, my everything. Shortly after he passed that morning, I remember saying to our children, “I don’t know what I will do without him…how I will proceed alone. Someone quietly answered, “We don’t know what we’ll do either.”

I plodded along that next year trying to pretend that I was fine and everything was ok, but it wasn’t. I had lots of friends and family who regularly checked on me and invited me places, but life wasn’t the same without Jim. Fortunately I still had Shiloh to brighten each day, and to give me a reason to get up every morning. That adorable, loving and loyal black lab always made the day better and the nights easier.

And then, near the end of January in 2019, on Messenger, someone sent me a video that I knew my SHS friends would enjoy watching. As I was going through my FB friends’ list the name Dulany Sriner popped up, I knew he had a webpage for the Class of ‘64 and thought his classmates might enjoy it also. I added his name to the list and hit send. A few days later, I received a message from him thanking me for thinking of him. And then he added something about knowing Jim had passed away and us having a lot in common and wondering if I might be interested in meeting somewhere for lunch. He thought it might be good to have someone to talk to about the deaths we had experienced. When I replied that I would like that, he asked if I was free on Thursday and I said, “yes.” I didn’t realize at the time that Thursday was January 31 – the year anniversary of Jim’s death. I wrestled with the idea of texting him about changing the date because I knew he would understand; I finally decided that it was probably a good idea to have some where to go for lunch that day, so I didn’t text. We had a delightful time together…both laughing and shedding a few tears at various times during the 2+ hours we spent together. I didn’t tell him until later about the significance of the day, and much to my surprise, the next day he asked if I would enjoy lunch again next week…and as is often said — the rest is history!

I don’t know if it was his twinkling blue eyes or his sense of humor, so much like mine, that really endeared him to me, but it happened quickly, and I was not ready to accept it for quite some time. Dulany and I have a relationship and love that is so special that I don’t know how to begin to explain it. As the relationship progressed we decided to make some rules. The first was we promised to always be honest with one another regardless of how difficult the truth might be. We also agreed to openly talk about our spouses without either of us getting angry. We have a combined 97 years of marriage and those years can’t be forgotten. We intend to learn from the mistakes we may have made, as well as the positive aspects of our past. We have spent hours discussing anything and everything including our marriages…the good, the bad, but no ugly. I can’t think of any topic that hasn’t come up in a discussion at some time. Probably that’s because we both love to talk! Being realistic, we fully recognize the importance of every day and strive to make wise decisions about the time we have left.

Dulany brought back the joy of living – laughter, adventure, fun, travel, and a new kind of love to my life. What is it that makes everything so special? Maturity and adaptability come to mind. A willingness to listen, really listen to one another, respect, mutual admiration, humor – lots and lots of humor, and love. We have love born from wisdom, anticipation of the future, and yet a peaceful sense of security that surrounds our over-70 kind of love. Dulany sums it up best by saying, “Until all our tomorrows are yesterdays.” Today I decided that in the future, January 31 will be celebrated as a day of happiness. Happiness because of what was and because of what is to be. Thank you, Dulany, for helping me see the light…you know what I mean.

Peace and Love