Lx2 Unlimited

They say that even the bad days are good in Florida. Today was not one of those days! Today was exceptional! In Florida, it is all about the weather, and as soon as you step out the door, you have a pretty good idea what the day will be like. This morning, after sleeping in late and then taking a long RV shower, I got dressed and headed out to retrieve my Diet Coke from the outside kitchen refrigerator. One step out the door, and I knew it was a special day. It just felt good! We didn’t have any special plans unless you count going in to town to pick up mail from the P.O. box. Marilyn would be doing laundry and I wanted to finish setting up the new computer.

During the down time, I found myself sitting outside contemplating how content I was. Now, don’t get the idea we just sit around sipping margaritas on the veranda. First we don’t have a veranda, and second I don’t like margaritas, but we do have a covered patio, and occasionally even I have a nice cold glass of super sweet wine. This morning I just felt relaxed, rejuvenated, and somehow in tune with the surroundings. It was a little like the feeling of walking in the woods away from the normal city-stress vibration.

It was hard to believe that it was 4 years ago that the family took our last full family vacation together to Key West. Pat was in her final stages of cancer, and it was all about making the most of those last “family times.” Pat and I drove down and Kim and Krystal flew in to join us. It was good for all of us to be together, but when you become a care giver, particularly in those last months, you seem to step out of your role of spouse and become nurse, parent, and facilitator. This change does not take place overnight, it is gradual. It is almost like you become something between super-human and zombie; perhaps a little of both. During that time, Life isn’t about you. You are just there doing what needs to be done. When your spouse is freed from their Earthly bondage, it is like you have been suspended from a floating balloon, and suddenly the balloon breaks and you come crashing down. You don’t just bounce back to the old you. You have to slowly adjust to your new life, often alone.

I was so fortunate to find someone with whom I could rebuild my life. It has been like a rebirth. And now, I feel alive and well. And I can say, I am finally feeling a contentment I don’t remember ever having before. It isn’t just the Florida weather, but that helps. And while Marilyn has helped me on this rebirth, it is more a self realization and awareness of what joy and happiness is. It is more peaceful contentment than jump up and down joy. As I sat out this morning I felt that oneness with God/nature as it almost consumed my whole entity. As I think about it, it might be similar to the process of a peaceful passing. I mean that is a good way because It is the letting go of problems from the past. And having the FAITH that everything will be OK. I have said before that I see Faith as the opposite of fear. I can’t change the world, but I can change my perspective of it. I would hope that each of you would someday feel this contentment of being a small but infinitely important part of this world around us. Without each of us, the chain of life is incomplete. We are all individual souls with the same destination programmed into our being, and that destination is the understanding and acceptance of the unity of all life. Bless you all.